What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
