Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
