dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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