so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
