He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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