Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
