i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
