Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
