I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize