he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
