She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
