i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
