Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
well you can't waste a boner
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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