I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
