real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
another moral hangover. fuck.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
His nipple licking is glorious
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