So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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