apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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