I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
