it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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