he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
sex in a hospital.. check
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
