Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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