I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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