So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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