he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
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