just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
