So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
