Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
