Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
