Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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