As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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