are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
