You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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