When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
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Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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