Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
