I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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