State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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