If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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