how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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