YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
