Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
