well I can't set my house on fire every night
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
