I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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