people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
