I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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