I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
