we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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