Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You smell like stripper and shame
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
