guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
