i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
