Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize