you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
