carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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