how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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