Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
