question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
sex in a hospital.. check
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
