HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
