i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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