In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He felt like a one man threesome
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
