Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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