She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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