I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So many bounce houses so little time
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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