This girl is more easily done than said...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
