thus making me awesome and them whores
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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