I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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