i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
